The Giraffe: The Skill That Could Save Your Child Years of Self-Doubt

What if we could save our children years of second-guessing themselves, people-pleasing, or shrinking under criticism—just by front-loading one vital life skill?

The skill of handling criticism.

So many adults are still affected by something someone said to them years—or even decades—ago. A passing comment, a playground insult, a throwaway remark from a teacher. We carry these words with us, wondering if they were right. Wondering if we are enough.

But our kids don’t have to.

One of the most powerful gifts we can give our children is the skill—yes, skill—of deciding for themselves what to believe and what to ignore. 

In our house, we have a simple but powerful saying:
“If someone calls you a giraffe, does that make you a giraffe?”

Watch this clip from my interview with Dr Bree Hurn on Habit Nerd Podcast to see how it works. 

We don’t have to wait for our kids to figure out how to handle criticism by trial and error. We can teach them now. And when we do, we’re not just protecting their confidence today—we’re saving them from the years of self-doubt so many of us are still working through.

Transcript

but it is also a skill
and so we learn that skill through the experience of life
yes we can shortcut that for our kids
yes and help them front load that skill for them
hmm and just one example is we have a saying and I write about it in
um in our books
um raising girls who like themselves and in bringing up boys
and we've taught it to my girls
and it's the giraffe okay
and it is if someone calls you a giraffe
does that make you a giraffe
hmm right
and so when they come to me and say
you know Sally said I'm a baby because I took my doll to school
I was like well
if Sally said you were a giraffe yes
would that make you a giraffe
and then they laugh and then they get it
and you follow up with
you get to decide who you are and if that's okay
and I'll just give you an example of how that works
so a while ago my
my little one was walking home from school at the tender age of 7 and
um she was
she was telling me that she had a tricky day because somebody
another girl told all the girls at school that she was dumb right
and in that moment I felt it cause
you know what cause like I was a trigger
and then she goes she puts her hands on her hips
she lets out this really big sign goes
so I'm going to have to sort that out tomorrow
oh I love that
and I have some work to do tomorrow on this
yes
how gorgeous reason she sees it like that
is because we have spent her whole life front loading those skills
that she gets to decide if she's okay
is it the truth that someone says
have they earned the right to be listened to