The Parenting Mistake That’s Making Kids Miserable (Without Us Realising It)

As parents, we just want our kids to be happy. But what if, without realising it, we’re actually making them miserable?

Society tells us that success equals happiness—high marks, top performances, popularity. So we push our kids to achieve, thinking we’re setting them up for a great life. But as Dr Martha Beck explains in this short video, the truth is the opposite.

Happiness doesn’t come from constant achievement. It comes from knowing who we are, what we love, and what makes our hearts sing. And kids don’t discover that through pressure—they find it through play, curiosity, and freedom.

So how can we shift from focusing too much on achievement to set our kids up for real happiness? Watch this video to find out.

Let’s raise kids who like themselves—not just kids who achieve.

Click here to watch the full interview with Martha Beck and Marie Forleo.  

Transcript

well meaning
parents
can accidentally be making their children miserable
don't just take it from me
take it from Doctor Martha
bet everybody thinks that they're feeling miserable
because they haven't achieved enough
it has nothing to do with happiness
the only thing that has to do with happiness is
how closely are you adhering to what you know
at the deepest level is true and right for you
that's it so how does this apply to our children
and how do I how does it apply to us as parents
we are told in society that good parenting is
turning our children into little achievement machines
by getting them to score the highest marks
the most goals hanging out with the popular kids
but what we're doing is
we are teaching them that happiness is found out there
happiness will be found
when they achieve something else
but as Martha Beck just explained it
that is the road to misery
so what we need to do instead
is to teach our children
that happiness is found in here
happiness comes from when our kids learn who they are
what they love and what makes their heart sing
and they don't learn that
from being pressured into scoring marks
or goals they learn it through play
we need to encourage our kids to learn
rather than achieve
so when your child comes home from doing a test
don't focus on the Mark focus on what did they learn
did they do something that was hard
was that brave
what are they gonna do differently next time
what was it that was really interesting
if your child loves sport
then let them love sport
let them enjoy the process of playing sport
rather than piling on the pressure by demanding
excellence achievement and skill perfection
and the last point is about overscheduling
our kids need time to be kids
and what I mean by that is they need a childhood
experts like to tell us
that the reason our kids are in crisis
is because of screens firstly
there is very little evidence for that
perhaps the reason our kids are in crisis
is because we are robbing them of their childhood
by turning them into achievement machines
and we are teaching them
that the path of happiness is achievement
when in actual fact over
focusing on achievement
is a path to a lifetime of misery