If we think Netflix's Adolescence is about screens we're missing the point. And failing our kids.

If you’ve seen Adolescence on Netflix, you’ll know how gut-wrenching it is to watch 13-year-old Jamie kill a girl after she rejects him and mocks him online.

And just like clockwork, the response has been loud and predictable: It’s the screens. It’s social media. Take away the phones, and we fix the problem.

Even actor Stephen Graham, who plays Jamie’s father in the show, jumped to blame screen time.

But here’s the uncomfortable truth: misogyny and male emotional dysregulation didn’t start with smartphones.

They started long before that.

In the show, Jamie’s dad physically attacks a child who calls him a name. Why? Because his feelings were hurt. Just like Jamie, who responded to rejection not with resilience—but with rage. The only difference is that Jamie had a knife.

We see the root of the problem unfold across the entire series:
– A father who dominates and disrespects his wife
– A household walking on eggshells to prevent his outbursts
– A son being shamed for not being "tough enough"

None of this is new. None of this required Wi-Fi.

Social media may amplify these issues, but it didn’t create them. These beliefs were already deeply embedded in our institutions, our homes, and our stories about what it means to be a man.

Blaming screens is convenient. It allows us to avoid the harder conversations—about masculinity, power, and the way we’ve been taught to raise boys and girls.

It also puts the blame back caregivers (primarily mothers) for letting their kids be on devices, rather than challenging the systems that have always shaped our children’s beliefs and behaviours.

If we want to raise boys who can handle rejection without violence—we need to do better than blaming social media.

We need to raise kids in a culture that rejects domination disguised as strength.

Because our kids deserve more than deflection.

They deserve our courage.