The myth around girls and skimpy clothing is putting our girls in more danger

Parents often worry that allowing their daughter to wear skimpy clothing will invite sexual advances, but this is a myth. There is no evidence linking skimpy clothing with sexual harassment and sexual assault. In fact, research shows that it is women with passive, submissive personalities who are most likely to be raped and they tend to wear body concealing clothing.

We need to start having conversations with our girls about body autonomy and respect for their wishes now. 

Transcript

So our guiding principle in teaching body ownership is “If it's not harmful and it's not permanent, she gets to decide. But what we often hear from loving, devoted, and well meaning parents is, yes, yes, yes, but what about when your daughter chooses to wear a crop top or short shorts or a skimpy dress, that's when, for a lot of parents, the rules get complicated. And we've heard parents say anything from “Over my dead body” to “I'm not doing my job as a parent if I let her leave the house looking like that.” And it's this. Buried, deep within our culture is the idea that girls and women either invite or repel sexual advances with their clothing. So, let's put that to rest right now. We want to be really, really clear on this. There is no evidence linking skimpy clothing with sexual harassment and sexual assault. Zip, nada, none. It's simply not true. It is a myth. And we'll get to the evidence of that in a moment. When you stop to think about it, every woman already knows this, because we have all been sexually harassed at some point in our life, and it did not matter what we were wearing. Now, I'm sorry to be blunt, but if you think you are protecting your daughter from sexual harassment by policing her body and her clothing choices, you might need to think again. Your daughter could be wearing a paper bag, and if some bloke decided to sexually harass her, your clothes rule will not deter him. But here is the real kicker. Not only is policing your daughter's body and appearance totally ineffective when it comes to protecting her from sexual harassment and assault, it could also expose her to greater risk. Because what the research tells us is that perpetrators, they're not going for the sexy girl. They're going for the vulnerable one. The one that appears passive and submissive. And if we don't allow our girls to make their own decisions about their own bodies and appearance, the message we are implicitly sending them, without intending to, and the very best of with the very best of intentions, we are sending them the message that they are passive and submissive, so much so that they can't even be trusted to make their own clothing choices. And it's not just our belief or our ideas. There's actually, there's massive review of literature on this. By two researchers, and they researched how street criminals selected their victims, and what they found is the following. Studies shows that it is women with passive, submissive personalities who are most likely to be raped and that they tend to wear body concealing clothing such as high necklines long pants and sleeves, and multiple layers. And that's based on a study looking at a whole range of other studies. It's called a meta analysis where they go and get a whole bunch of other studies and they look at what they all found. So it's pretty compelling evidence. Now you might think that your daughter is a long way from this. For parents of young girls in particular, you can feel this is a future conversation. But we think you need to start these conversations about body autonomy, by introducing the idea that she has control over her body that she had a right to be listened to and expects that her wishes be listened to and respected is just so important. We need to build that foundation now for when she needs it later in life. There are no guarantees of course, but this advice is at least based on the evidence rather than the prejudices that have been handed down through the generations in families.