Why encouraging your boy to stand up for himself with violence is a risky strategy
It's common to feel the urge to advise our boys to fight back when they're being picked on. But research shows that violence only leads to more violence. Encouraging your son to use his fists can have serious consequences for his mental health and future. It is far more effective to teach our boys to use their words, not their fists.
Transcript
When we were kids and we were being picked on, our parents’ generation often told us to punch the other kid. If you have given your boy this advice, don't worry. You're not alone. It is very common for parents to encourage their boys to punch, push or shove in order to stand up for themselves. And most of these parents are not pro-violence. They hate the idea of it, but they don't want their son to be picked on or be a target for bullying, and they don't know what else to advise their sons to do. The first problem with this advice is that it doesn't work. The research is very clear on this. Violence breeds violence. If your boy uses physical violence to try to solve his problems, the other kid is most likely going to respond with even greater violence. Studies have shown that boys have engaged in physical violence are more likely to suffer from depression, anxiety, and low self esteem. If you're still not convinced that telling your boy to throw a punch is a bad idea, think about this. What happens if your boy follows your advice to use his fists and stand up for himself when he's eighteen? Imagine he's in a bar and someone calls him a pussy or bumps into him and spills their drink on him accidentally on purpose. Would you want your boy to punch the other guy? Because that could ruin his life. Encouraging your boy to stand up for himself with fists is a risky strategy. It is also an ineffective one. Instead of using a right hook, help him to use the right words at the right time.