Bonus Ep: Finding Your Voice and Sharing It Powerfully and Safely with Amy Molloy

October 28, 2025

We've spent the last six episodes of Goodbye Good Girl Club: The Podcast unpicking our good girl beliefs. Now it's time to speak up! This conversation with Amy Molloy provides the perfect roadmap for finding our voices, writing our truths, and sharing our experiences, while protecting ourselves and others.

In this special bonus episode of Goodbye Good Girl Club: The Podcast, host Kasey Edwards sits down with award-winning journalist and writer Amy Molloy to explore one of the most powerful acts of rebellion for good girls: telling our authentic stories.

From navigating shame to writing from scars instead of wounds, this episode is essential listening for anyone ready to find their voice.

Key Quotes

"Not everyone is entitled to your story."

"Write from the scar, not the wound."

"Shame festers in the dark. Secrets make us sick."

"What we don't make sacred, we make shameful."

"It's heartwarming to be known rather than to be liked."

"Writing doesn't get you lost in the past, it helps you look forward."

"The fastest growing category on Substack is over 50s women. I am here for it."

Resources Mentioned

Here’s the link to Amy’’s website: https://www.amymolloy.com.au
Amy’s bestselling course The Book Writing Remedy is currently on sale at 30% off. And spots are open to work with Amy one-on-one if you dream of adding “author” to your resume in 2026. www.amymolloy.com.au
Substack (a great place for women's writing and storytelling) https://substack.com

Kasey's books:

Goodbye Good Girl, Hello Me: https://www.raisinggirlswholikethemselves.com/goodbye

Raising Girls Who Like Themselves: https://www.raisinggirlswholikethemselves.com/raisinggirls

Bringing Up Boys Who Like Themselves: https://www.raisinggirlswholikethemselves.com/bringingupboys

Use code PODCAST for $10 off

Amy Molloy is an award-winning journalist, bestselling author, editor, writer of the hit podcast The Space, and founder of LightWriter Media. She works with women across the world to turn their life experiences into books, blogs, podcasts, and TV shows with boundaries and self-compassion. Amy is also a qualified counsellor.

If this episode resonated with you, please leave a review and share it with a woman who deserves to hear: You don't need to earn your worth. You just have to remember it.

Episode Transcript

like we go through I see a cycle of storytelling as women
most of us we start feeling very silenced and shrunk and unheard
and then most of us at some age
I think
have an incident or a connection or a friendship which makes us go
fuck this I am gonna find my voice
I have been silenced for too long
I am gonna speak out and I deserve this
welcome to the Goodbye Good Girl Club
the podcast I'm your host
Kasey Edwards author of Goodbye Good Girl
Hello me if you've spent your life seeking approval from everyone
except yourself putting others needs before your own
and staying silent to keep the peace
this podcast is for you whether you're 35 or 65
the question remains when will you finally be enough
the answer is now you belong here let's begin
welcome everybody to our 7th Goodbye Good Girl Club
I am just so excited that you have joined us
this is actually a bonus club
um which I wasn't planning
but I'll get into that in a moment
um with the wonderful Amy Molloy
and I will be introducing her
and she will be sharing some wonderful wisdom and experience with us
in just a moment I am coming to you from Melbourne
Australia where I am very fortunate to live on the beautiful
lands of the Bunurong and Wurundjury
peoples of the Kulin Nation
I acknowledge the traditional custodians of these lands
and pay my respects to the elders
past and present and to any First Nations peoples who are joining us
and I would like to take a moment to thank all of you
whether this is your first club or your seventh club
or somewhere in between thank you so much for giving yourself
giving each other
and giving Amy and me this one hour to fill our buckets
and share space with other smart
supportive and inspiring women
and as I say every time
joining this club is not just an act of self love
it is actually an act of rebellion
because women in our society are so rarely encouraged to do something
holy for ourselves
one woman who has inspired thousands of women to live and speak
and write more authentically is Amy Molloy
so Amy is an award winning journalist
an editor and the writer of the hit podcast The Space
the founder of Light Writer Media
she works with women across the world
to turn their life experiences into books
blogs pods and TV shows with boundaries and self compassion
and tonight she is here to share her wisdom and experience with us
on how to tell our stories authentically
powerfully and safely so please join me in welcoming Amy Molloy
hi everyone
welcome Amy um
first of all normally I thank the guest at the end of the session
but I want to thank you at the beginning
and the reason for this is all of you don't know this
but Amy is here tonight because she asked to be part of our club
now if you will remember a few months ago
Kemmy Neck for pill was our guest on the club
and she talked about the gift of asking and self worth
and she said you know
self worth isn't something that we wait to have bestowed on us
it's something that we create ourselves
through the actions that we take
and through asking so Amy
I hope that you asking to be on the club gave you some self worth
but it also was a gift to all of us
because we've spent the last six months
unpicking our good girl beliefs
and challenging them so
it was just so wonderful to have you ask
and offer your experience and wisdom to help us tell our stories and
and and speak more authentically
now that we have discovered that part of ourselves
so I wanna start by saying thank you
oh my pleasure
what an honor to finish the series
haha I feel like it's the perfect way to finish
after following you and seeing your other guests
and then yeah to finish with this conversation
it's just perfect it
it really is yes
tie a bow on it yes yes
so I wanna start tonight Amy with one of the um
challenges that good girls have
so that we're raised to be people pleasers and peacekeepers
and often that means that we are silent when we have something to say
or if you're anything like me
you will actually just tell people what you think
you think they wanna hear
and I used to trade truth for what I thought was acceptance and love
so I wanna start tonight
Amy by asking you
what is the cost of not telling our authentic stories
hmm just so many
I mean gosh
first of all just physically
just that physical impact on our bodies
of holding ourselves and shrinking ourselves
silencing ourselves so many of the writers who come from my programs
as we're starting to unpack their stories
they all have the same physical symptoms
like the sore throat the lumps in their throat
they literally physically lose their voices
their bodies just
it's amazing to see their bodies like fight against their voice
as I you know
and I get it every time I launch a book
I don't know if you have this
I will come down with raging flu
I will lose my voice as I'm coming up to press week
I lose my voice every single book launch
and it's just that fear it's just my body going
this feels unsafe this feels unsafe
I'm gonna shut down shut down
I'm gonna stop you from physically being able to do that
so even
I love like that mind body connection of what your physical symptom
how your chest tightens when you can't have that conversation
or your voice
you lose your voice or anything that stops you from speaking up
and then again how we showing up in the world
how we are editing ourselves and filtering ourselves
with as big things as launching a business and a brand
or writing a book yes
but it's like how we speak to our kids teachers
how we have a conversation at our local coffee shop
whether we're truly finding community and connection
and even as an author
like I've done this as my profession since I was 19
um and it was only really in the last few years that I
in my real life started making true friendships
true genuine connections yes
because even though I do this for a job
it's still editing and filtering yourself and censoring yourself
and it was only when I hit my 40s and having three kids
two daughters that I really started to say like
what is genuine connection and feeling known is such a oh
it's like the code of my 40s
it's time for me to really be known and yeah
that just filters out through every part of our life
and it's so heartwarming to be known rather than to be liked
isn't it oh
yes and often the cost
you actually
the cost of being liked by everyone all the time is to be known
and I'm actually gonna jump now to a question that came in from
from one of you in in the club because it's so relevant now
she said that in her group of friends
they were raised that to believe that private things stayed private
and she's worried that if she starts talking authentically
that there will be a backlash in the group
hmm
and yes
I got really sad about that because that used to be me too
until I realized that
I can't be friends with someone who doesn't actually know me right
and I also wonder I
I know that it was it's a generational thing too
like but prior to us
it was almost like a a point of pride to say
I'm a very private person and I don't talk about my things
my experiences and my vulnerabilities
but it's like well
if you don't talk with your friends
who are you talking to
there's a real interesting polarity coming on
and I don't think many of us are getting it right in air quotes
that like
my parents like
who are like the boomer generation were
especially coming from middle class England
very door closed just keep everything to yourself
even with your family you're not talking about issues
and then I'm a millennial and we've kind of swung the other way
and we're unfiltered and oversharing
and we're trauma dumping and we're putting it all out there
but with no real boundaries or kind of
strategy or empathy for who we're kind of oversharing with
and I do believe there's like
a really beautiful middle ground that
I try and coach my writers through and coach myself through
which is yes
we're rebelling against the older generation
or our middle class upbringing
whatever it is who said shut down
shut up keep it within closed doors
yes we're rebelling against that
but then there is another way of swinging of like
we don't have to tell everybody everything
um especially to make true friendships and connections
we still don't have to tell it everyone everything
and finding like when you're sharing within your friendship group
really like why are you sharing
what are you hoping to achieve
how much how is this like a mutual exchange
you're not just sharing like every time
you know this as a public figure
every time I bravely share
it's not me just putting myself out there
it's also like a very selfish act
because I get so much love and sharing and stories back
every time I launch a book
it's like
tenfold what I get back in people reaching out with their stories
and so in my experience
when you do open yourself up and you let yourself be vulnerable
you are mostly met with love and empathy and kindness
and then we just have to become a little bit more resilient
for that small percentage of people who might not take to it
if it's too much are
you know too dramatic
too emotional like that's OK
that they don't get that my parents don't understand why I
have a career as a memoirist
and why I might like write about my sex life on social media
they absolutely flummox they're very proud of me
but they are flummoxed by it all um
but me for me
it's a really important part of my purpose on this world
is to break taboos and share these stories
and kind of break down barriers
and so my y I is very clear
it's also very clear in my friendship group
if I'm sharing about my sex life after kids or whatever it is
I'm doing it to open a conversation that I hope helps the circle
not just me being like I've got a vent at you
so hopefully that makes sense
how do how do we find the line between sharing uh
for the benefit of everyone and ourselves and trauma dumping yes
I'm gonna speak really specifically to me and what I've Learned
cause I love talking about this
and it's such a moving and ever changing
like as a non fiction writer
and I've since I I signed my first book deal when I was 22
and I've been writing about myself ever since
so basically another 20 years
and I have absolutely crossed the line a million times
and shared too much
and now I'm much better again in my 40s at really dancing on the line
hitting that purpose without going too far
um interestingly
I find that I tend to overshare when my self esteem is low
and when I don't I'm
I'm don't feel safe in my value
especially in a room like I will weirdly like
especially in a social setting
um if I feel like I'm not bringing enough or worthy enough
just by showing up and being me and chatting about my normal life
I would find myself um
like dropping in something awful that had happened to me
or do you know I was widowed when I was 23
or do you know this awful thing
because we do live in this world that glorifies suffering
and it's always kind of like those contestants that turn up at the um
X Factor or one of those shows and like have their trauma story
and that's what gives them worth
and I find myself at certain seasons of life
where I'm feeling less secure in who I am
I will talk about my suffering more and not in a genuine
like place that you know
with sitting around with friends
in a way that actually does feel true to me
I will like find a way to drop it into conversation as like
look at me look what I've been through
and even um
in conversations in arguments with my husband in the past
if I feel like this I mean
this was a while ago in covid
when the world was rocky and I was feeling rocky
and I found myself suddenly with my now husband
bringing up the fact of like
my past husband and who died and the trauma and like reminding him
do you remember this is what I went through
and to me that felt like not the right kind of sharing
I had an ulterior motive it wasn't natural
it wasn't like mutually beneficial
and it feels very different to me than like
sitting around in a group of women who are all sharing stories
and it being very relevant and healing
like again
I can feel the difference in my body when I'm chatting to you
like I feel so relaxed and easy for now and uh
like I'm not having to prove anything and I
but I've been in many interviews and many speaking gigs
and situations where it hasn't felt that way
and I can feel the difference in my physical body
and absolutely afterwards when walking away
I'm like oh
I've got the ick that was I crossed my own line
and sometimes we have to cross it to learn next time
I'm not gonna go that far
sometimes it's trial and error
well I think that's a really great message
from the story that you've just told
is that I mean
look at you with your amazing successful career and
and very functional life it looks like
but you've crossed your line so many times right
so many times
I think maybe we don't really know where that line is
until sometimes we cross it
but then we can step it back right
absolutely and
you know we
we find a different situations
like
I was speaking to someone who I'm writing a book with the other day
and she was saying that she had shown her brother
the first draft of her book
and she's writing like a spiritual book
it's really beautiful
but she'd given it to her brother hoping for him to love it right
and he's not in that world
he's not into the spiritual world at all
she gave it to the wrong audience
and I get it she was
she wanted him to love it
but she came away like feeling that vulnerability hangover
feeling like you know
she offered up a part of herself and he rejected it
and I also said you know
it's tough but we do have to pick our audience
yes like we have to it
it might not be that our parents
are the right people to discuss your breakup with
it might not be that like
my partner is the right person to discuss spirituality with
cause he's a scientist
and he's just not going to be able to meet me there and
and again with our friends
like who come and go through our lives
hopefully at certain point
and most women I think like we go through
I see a cycle of storytelling as women
most of us we start feeling very silenced and shrunk and unheard
and then most of us at some age
I think
have an incident or a connection or a friendship which makes us go
fuck this I am gonna find my voice
I have been silenced for too long
I am gonna speak out and I deserve this
and for some of us it happens at 20 and some at sixty
and I always think often at that time
we gather women around us who are ready to roar as well
yes and we
you know these friendships can be a total surprise
um but it's funny how it happens
you find this beautiful group of women
who are ready to use their voice together
and then we just lean into that
so I have like a couple of wonderful female cheerleaders
and we both just go yep
speak up you deserve this
you're scared I know you're scared
but go for it um
and I just lean into those women whenever I need a Pep talk because
you know yeah
my parents might not get it
my husband might not get it
but like those women do sometimes in a friendship group
they're just waiting for someone to take the first step
and be a leader right
yes I love it
I like I keep saying this
but I love I'm so interested in talking about sex lives of everyone
especially as you go through motherhood
like I've got three young kids
like
we don't talk about it enough in terms of what it really looks like
and feels like and it often only takes
you know
you get a group of women sitting around and no one's gonna broach it
and you just need one yes
and then like the floodgates open
and we're all just so grateful to be able to talk about it
yes yeah
and I've always tried to do that with my articles
and it gets me in trouble sometimes
but you really you know
let's like broach that subject that we're scared to broach
and then we get over that barrier societally and we all
that becomes normal like
I was at the cusp of the mental health movement
when we weren't talking about anxiety and depression
and like I came from a family where that was like
rich in the women in my family
but we weren't talking about it
and I began to write about it
and then that created a tidal wave
and now I'm able to move on to another topic
because not that we're like
the stigma is gone but the baton can be passed to the next generation
and so I'm like okay
what do we need to talk about next
what do we need to write about next
um and so even as like all of us
whether you're a writer or whatever your communication style is
it's like okay
what can we shine a light on
let's like do that it's a really important point that you make
that not everybody is going
to like or approve of what you write
so I have two brothers
and one is my biggest champion
who supports everything I write and reads all my books
and I have another brother is horrified that I'm airing family laundry
and does not support my books
but also um
we can another reason that
that women sometimes don't speak authentically
is they're not believed of what they say
and I have one brother who believes what I say
another one who would prefer not to know and not believe
and so my question Amy
is how what advice do you have for people who are afraid that
and it doesn't have to be about trauma
it could just be about speaking up in a meeting
and offering your opinion
or your advice and knowing that there's gonna be people in there
who do not think that what you say is credible
or just don't believe you hmm
well there's two different sides of that
I mean
if you're literally sharing a story that's to do with your family
you know like your example that some of our family are like
why you shouldn't be airing that laundry
like through my courses and working one on one with my writers
there are strategic things we put in place to be like yes
you deserve to tell your story however
you're not in an island here
other people are gonna read it
and your your story also involves family
friends ex lovers blah
blah blah
and I don't believe that we should just be able to
you know hashtag no filter
say whatever you want and write whatever you want
even if we've lived through it
so I have a lot of writers who are navigating like
domestic violence situations
and come out the other side and writing about it
which is so important however
we do have to edit and self edit your story
and put structures in place to protect other people in the story
so I'm definitely like
sometimes I see people share stuff on social media under the guise of
I deserve to tell this story
you do and I want you to feel empowered in doing it
however let's
edit it in a way that takes out people
that we don't need to be in there
changes details and protects people
I have an older sister she's a brilliant supporter of mine
but she's a biochemist she has no interest in this world
and she's not mentioned in any of my books
I've written five memoirs now
you wouldn't even know I had an older sister
and that's just a decision I made a long time ago
no one misses her she doesn't need to be part of the story
um so we have to protect the other people in our stories
and I've got much much better as I get older at understanding that and
and that means that we can feel really like respectful
as storytellers we can still say
I went through this I feel this
I'm not gonna mention this
I also have an ex husband who I will say in my books
as part of our divorce agreement
I agreed not to write about that relationship
like we literally cause I was a journal
I was a memoirist
he know totally and I get it and I but
but you know what I do I don't do
I'm very much about like let's lift the veil as storytellers
I'm not just gonna not say anything about him
but I write into my books
you may know I had another husband
we divorced and I agreed never to write about that relationship
and I know as my readers you're gonna respect that
um so that's when we're looking at like public like writing books
writing blogs doing anything
but you know
even in conversations with our friends
like I don't tell many people stuff going on my kids
mm hmm like if my little boy's having trouble at school
there's gonna be my husband's gonna know
my mum's gonna know and two of my friends are gonna know
everyone else when they say
how are the kids I'm gonna be like
they're great
and that's totally fine and I think people would be surprised
because I'm known as an out there writer
I'm fiercely protective of my own story and
but also incredibly generous with it as well
um and I think that translates to the workplace
to friendship groups to our family
we get to show up and we get to really decide
decide where that line is
while still being very generous and giving of ourselves
and who we are um
and I think when you're really firm in that position
the feedback or the push back doesn't affect you so much
cause I know why I'm sharing this
I genuinely believe like me and you're having this conversation
cause I genuinely believe
well No. 1
I love talking about it but I truly believe it helps to people too
so someone sitting on here being like
oh that Amy
she sounds so dot dot dot yeah
that's okay yeah that's okay
before we continue
I want to tell you about something that might help you
on your own journey if today's conversation is resonating with you
you might want to check out my book
Goodbye Good Girl hello me
it's my personal story
of recognizing and challenging the beliefs that kept me
seeking everyone else's approval
instead of trusting myself
think of it as a roadmap to the person you were always meant to be
and if you're a parent grandparent
carer or teacher
who wants to protect your children from inheriting
these damaging beliefs I've also written
Raising Girls Who Like Themselves
and Bringing Up Boys Who Like Themselves
both best sellers
that show you how to raise kids who value themselves
from the inside out
you can find all these books at Kasey Edwards dot com
and if you use the code podcast at checkout
you'll get $10 off your order
absolutely everything we hope and dream for ourselves
and for our children in our lives
become easier when we like ourselves
now back to our conversation
what do you think about the saying
which helps me a lot in my writing that we should write from the scar
not the wound
I say it all the time
I've a handful of times a week I say it
yeah I truly absolutely
it's why I used to really um
vent against like live blogging and kind of live tweeting your
whatever trauma divorce
whatever's going on I love people writing in the moment
like my first book was literally written in real time
after my first husband died
um but I think every writer needs to pause
like do not post do not
you don't not
doesn't need to happen tonight
um pause
at least give it one day but I mean
hopefully 6 months and then let it cool
let it calm
and then right from um
your scars it makes so much difference
yeah I
I see that because it's also
it's not effective is it
so I'm
I'm following someone on social media at the moment
who is definitely making um
Instagram stories from her wound
and I can see that it is affecting her business
yes because that's not what people want
they it as a coach
she's looking like she's unraveling
and people prefer to know that you've unraveled and regrouped
right and then you share the experience from the unraveling
rather than the blow by blow unraveling
would you agree well
at least it doesn't even have to be like a year later
cause I do believe sometimes it's useful for us
not all to be just like gurus from the other side of like
now I'm on the other side
and I'm healed and I'm calm and I'm everything
I do think there's benefits sometimes to being like
I don't have the answers yet
I'm still in my grief I'm still in
you know my eating disorders flared up and I'm still in it
but it's without the heat
I mean especially without anger
I think a lot of my writers come to me early on in their recovery
from whatever it is and there's still so much very valid anger there
um but through
through the process of normally writing a book with them
or whatever we're creating
that anger cools and calms
and that is part of the writing process
for me my books are very much like I'm a um
qualified counsellor as well
so it's very much an emotional process as well as just like
here's how you write a book
and by the end of writing the book
they always say like I can't believe that first chapter
that first draft
it doesn't even recognize it as myself now it's so angry
like of course it was you had a reason to be angry
but we were never gonna publish that
I was never gonna let you post that
we were always going to bring you a little bit further along
not to the end
I don't love a book that like ends with
and then I got married again or then I had the miracle baby
like I love to end a book 3/4 away along the journey well
but at least you've got hope and like
you know that emotional ladder we're moving from despair to hope
we don't have to move from despair to elation
but to write from hope is a really powerful thing
I just wanna ask go back to anger because Angela has put into the chat
um why is anger demonized for women
and I mean
I think politically we're much easier to control when we're not angry
but let's talk about anger in writing
do you think that it has a place
yeah absolutely
so the brilliant author Ray Bradbury
who writes great books on how to write his prompts
which I used to do years ago was write about what you love
hate and fear which is a journal exercise everybody should do
I used to literally have three pages
what I love what I hate
what I fear and he would say
just let yourself just pour onto the paper
um and I used to at my
when I used to a long time ago run journaling retreats
we always used to start with that
and just that joy of being able to say I hate
like we're not meant to as women say we hate anything
like we're totally told like you hate is a nasty word
but yeah
to give yourself permission to love and hate something is incredible
and you can make a list what do I hate
what do I fear and that can become the basis of your book
and you know
and writing about anger is really
helps us to understand that it's not this one dimensional thing
it's really complex and nuanced and feminine and masculine
and writing about it is a great way to understand anger
and I'm certainly not saying take it out of your books
taking it out of your pods and blogs
um I just wouldn't want 65,000 words of anger
yes yeah
and I don't think it's it feels good to publish or write
I think there has to be that like Ying and Yang of it all
so one of the questions that is on our list for later
that I'm gonna bring forward
cause it's about anger and I really uh
thank you to the person who submitted it for being so candid
she said I'm so angry
I'm so fucking angry about the wasted good girl years
and she's worried that if she writes that
she will be stuck in that anger
what do you say to that
in my experience
anger not anger writing does move you forward moves you through
I think I was actually having this conversation with my mum
because that I think she I'm really encouraging her to write
she's a beautiful writer
but she is of that generation who were told to like silence yourself
and what have I got to say
that's valid what have I got to say to it that's important
and I think she's a little bit worried that
if she opens the can of worms
she will be writing from regret and from like
wishing things were different
but it's not my experience in my experience
like writing moves you through
and that's kind of a perspective as like memoir
writing for me is never about just getting lost in the past
it's really about like looking forward to so you have to decide like
if I'm sitting down to write
where is my story gonna begin
but also where is it gonna end yes
let's not end it 10 years ago
let's end it 10 years in the future
let's see how much more we have to live
how much more we have to share and the wisdom that is ahead of us
so I think really seeing that timeline of that yeah
I'm sitting down
but what what is the timeline of the story that I'm gonna tell
and where am I currently in the middle of it
cause to me we're only
we're all like halfway through our story
no matter what age we are
and we've got so much more to share
so hopefully writing can help you to see like I'm
I'm writing through it and often it's really hard as memoir writers
your first book is the hardest cause you've gotta write about all that
and I will often be saying to my writers
we've just gotta get the first book out we
and then the second one we can love and really enjoy
but let's this we've got to get this stuff out first
let's get the story of how you came to be
you and your childhood and all that stuff
and that first marriage just get that story told
and then we can really be like
who am I in book two right
um so yeah
I it's really sometimes hard as someone who writes about themselves
not to get stuck in the past
you've really got to learn um
and I've had to read
like I'm working on a TV show based on my first book at the moment
which is the story of how I was widowed at 23 and how I recovered from
or attempted to recover from that grief
so I'm what I'm turning into a TV show at the moment
which is obviously fantastic
but also pretty tough you know
I'm in a different marriage
I've got three young kids
and I really have to learn strategies of like OK
I'm gonna sit down and work on that pilot script for eight hours
and then I've got to come back to my life and laugh with my kids
and sing to K pop Demon Hunters
and like you know
and realize that this is way more important really
then that big suffering story I went through yes
but my kids are a real gift for that because they pull me out of it
they force me but you gotta find if you're riding by yourself
you gotta find a ritual at the end of the day to like
swim in the ocean laugh with your mates
watch a funny show to pull you out of like
looking in the rear view mirror
cause otherwise it's very easy to get stuck there
I find in the writing process it helps me understand my experiences
but also rewrite the meaning of my experiences
so in our last session last month with Caroline Cameron
we talked about the process of cutting the string of pearls
which is going back and
and identifying those moments where you created your first
good girl belief you know
I must give more love than I receive to be worthy for example
and then you go back
and you attribute a different meaning as an adult
to what you couldn't possibly have understood as a child
and then by giving a different meaning to the same event
you can then change that belief and heal
and for me that's the process of writing
when I write about my experiences
I actually coming back as an adult or even just as an older woman
it's very healing to decide for myself
what meaning I wanna put on that
on those events we get to choose the meaning
of course it's not always easy to rewrite it yeah
like you know
I've I had for many years
PTSD from my dad being sick when I was a kid
and lots of health related stuff in my family
and it yeah
has taken me a long time to shift and rewrite those stories
but it's so helpful
that we do get to decide the meaning we attach to a situation
and it will continue to evolve as
you know we change and grow
um and hopefully bring in more compassion and empathy as well
like the meaning I put now on
for instance like my childhood and my relationship
my mum who struggled with mental ill health
and this what I've attached to that over the years continues to change
and some days I'm really compassionate
and some days I'm much more angry
and you know
as I've had kids that's changed and morphed again
and I've continued to just explore it again and again
but also
give myself the freedom to change the meaning I attached to it
not to be like well
you know this was the meaning I gave it in my 20s
so that just has to be infinite now
like now my 40s as my kids get older
I can completely change my opinion view
um and I think that's really
I always talk to my writers about this
cause a lot of them worry like
what if I write this thing or share my
this opinion but then my mind changes
yeah and I'm like
thank God it does I really hope it does
I certainly don't like
I hope that I don't have exactly the same views as I did
as a 20 year old or as a 30 year old new mum
and now I've got older kids
slightly older and then give me another 10 years
I'll have teenagers and then of course it'll change again
and I think we as readers have to um
have more compassion like our favourite authors
our favourite journalists
let them change and grow yes
because then we do the same with ourselves
like if you find yourself judging someone you follow on social media
cause like oh
she used to say this and now she's saying this
or she used to say she loved that guy
and now she's divorced him and she's in love with that guy
like yes
let's give them that Grace
and then we can give it to ourselves as well
um we're almost running out of time
which is a shame because I've many more questions for you
um I've two more before we go
the first one is it's a question that's come through from um
one of the members of the club
now Amy
you clearly have a lot of material to write about in your life
and I I pretty much in an insensitive way
but there are lots of experiences that you have listed tonight
that you can really draw from
and someone wrote a comment she wants to write
but she doesn't know if she has anything to say
what would you say to people who
who are wondering if their story is worth telling
such a good question
every single writer who comes to me has those doubts
even the ones whose stories are like a movie
have those moments where they're like oh
what if I don't have anything to say
it's not special unique enough
dot Dot dot
um for me
I mean everybody does
I've never met a single person who I'm like
you don't have an amazing story to share
and there's a process I take right through
to identify those pivotal moments
and those like
life choices and their wisdom and everything that they have to share
but it's often like the most amazing moments aren't the huge things
it's not like I was in a huge car crash or my house burnt down
or it's often really like
like you were saying when you're looking at those pearls and saying
when was I silenced
most of us it wasn't like I was locked
in jail or like beaten for having a voice
it's these tiny little moments when a teacher made a comment at school
or you know
you felt like you weren't seen
it was like so subtle and
and little but so impactful
and I love really like turning that into content
I'd much prefer to hear about those little tinier moments than like
your wedding day or that person's funeral
I love the in between and putting value and realizing
like how impactful those everyday moments are
um and I did
I want to just say to someone asking about what
if you feel shame about your story
cause we just have to touch on that yes
like you are talking to the queen of feeling shame
but it also drives me like if I
I've heard a beautiful quote years ago
which I wish I could credit someone
but I don't know who said it
and um
it's what we don't make uh
what we don't make sacred
we make shameful
and I really try to make all of these experiences that part of me goes
shame shame
shame shame
like how can we make them sacred
like how can we write about sex
how can we write about money and grief and the messiness of what we do
my first book came out 20 years ago
and it was about how after my husband died
I was very promiscuous
and had sex with so many men in the first year after he died
and it was such a controversial book when it came out 20 years ago
and people loved it and people hated it
and it's the most important thing I've ever written
and I still get letters from people
and the best thing that ever happened to me was
most of my family didn't read it
I get that but my great grandmother
who was 90 odd
called me aside and said she was widowed at the same age as I would
was in the war
and she went on and had a
um war child out of wedlock and was sent away to have the baby
and she said
um after reading your book
it's the first time I've forgiven myself since then
and we're talking 60 70 years later
and she said because of you
I can finally forgive myself
and so that's what we write for right
we write for those comments and those conversations
we write because actually when we speak it
it is less shameful
and it it
it does make a difference just putting it out there
so I had so much shame and I did all the therapy
I did therapy every week for three years
and then I did everything else for years
but nothing has helped me with my shame as much as writing
because I came to the conclusion that my shame festered in the dark
and that secrets were making me sick
and so it was very difficult for me to tell
some of the stories that I have told over my writing career
but that was the best cure for the shame that I carried
hmm and it doesn't have to be
you know I'm gonna write a book
like it doesn't have to be I'm gonna
like literally
start a viral Instagram account
and tell millions and millions of people
it can be one conversation
it can be like telling our kids something
telling my daughter something
like my kids are too little at the moment to explain a lot of my past
but I'm excited for that scary conversation
when I get to tell my daughter
and really push that needle
and you know
I kind of like every time we do it
it gets easier even though it's scary
um and we're being role models for the stigma
we want to breakdown for our kids too
absolutely kids learn what to be ashamed about
they don't come out with shame right
we teach them so
when you breakdown that stigma
you are helping the next generation
hmm and I believe in the power of storytelling for uh
easing the intergenerational shame of women in families
like I believe that I am here to um
ease some of the shame that my mother carried around sex
and her mother carry come from Irish Catholic upbringing
and there's a lot of trauma and shame around sexuality in my lineage
yeah and I do
believe that like part of my role
and my daughter will carry this on
is to erase and undo some of that shame
even when it's not easy to do so
so again
it's about coming back to your why of why you're sharing
which is a good time Amy
for me to ask you to tell us about the book writing remedy
so your course where you've helped many women tell their stories
please tell us we've only got a few minutes left
but please tell us more about your course
hmm well
I write I work right
one on one with writers but
you know that's not always possible or accessible to everyone
so um
I've created well
a few years ago now I created the book writing remedy
which is a real
emotional and creative support in turning your story into a book
a blog mainly memoirs
um that seems to be where most people end up
but it will really guide you through the steps
most importantly finding those pivotal life moments
protecting the other people in your story
I have a module on shyness and oversharing
and how to emotionally support yourself
writing through difficult periods
it's really not just about this is how you structure a book
it's about writing a book is an emotional roller coaster
and so worth it
but let's make sure that you have a cheerleader who's on your side
doing it with you yes
and you have a discount for your course
yes you can go on my website Amy Molloy dot com dot au
it's automatic you just have to go on there
it's an automatic discount
I did it for end of financial year and then never took it down
so it's just wrong we're benefiting from your uh poor admin
great exactly
I keep saying that to people and we're just wait
one day I'll get round to it
um I'm now going to jump to um the questions from the club members
so some of them we've already peppered through
but I want to come to this one about writing in a corporate uh sphere
and the question is
I am planning to leave my job that from the outside looks great
but from the inside is crushing my mental and emotional well being
I would love some advice on what to say when I resign
it's a relatively high profile role
and so
I think I will need to have some sort of answer to why I'm leaving
both for my team and also externally
and she's also
she wants to keep her reputation strong and not burn bridges obviously
of course um
I also work as a comms advisor for the New South Wales government
so I definitely straddle the corporate world and my other job
um and I was actually
wrote an article on this recently for Sydney Morning Herald about
particularly Gen Z oversharing in the workplace and in recruitment
and job interviews
which was very eye opening because of them saying that
you know
zoomers in particular
are so used to this no filter oversharing on socials
and then are going into interviews in corporate worlds
and continuing that and really again
struggling to have those boundaries of how much to share
so for me it's always incorporate about saying less is more
like we absolutely do not need to give our full life story
and why we are leaving yep
um and it's not appropriate and it's not necessary
and again coming back to that why
why does every if we're putting out a email blast or a press release
or whatever it is about us choosing to leave
people don't need to know
you can have one on one conversations with the people that matter
about sharing more but it'll be very top line
it'll be a case of if I'm
if I'm working in coms with government and doing something like this
there'll be the first draft
and then we will literally half it and then half it again
not everyone is entitled to your story
absolute such a good
such a good quote um
and again understanding that we don't need to over explain ourselves
we know our self worth we understand ourselves
we're known with the people that matter
and so I was you know
write the draft write the email and half it
and you'll probably end up where you need to be
I actually put a phone call into um
Allison Ali O'shannassy who is one of Australia's leading uh
executive and leadership coaches
who she works at the top of organisations
so I put a call into her to get her advice on this
from a corporate point of view
which is very similar to yours Amy
and her advice was talk about where you're going and why not
why you're leaving so frame it in
there's this wonderful opportunity that I'm going to
that is right for me right now
and this is why now that may not be a job
it might be six months for me to upskill in something
you know maybe it's gardening
but anyway don't have to go to the details of that
but talk about that you're
you're compelled to go somewhere rather than focusing on that
you gotta get out of the place cause it's doing your head in hmm
right from where you want to be
like I'm always saying when
when my authors are pitching to publishers and getting book deals
and they're always scared to say
I'm an author before their books in shops
I'm like of course you're an author
we are describing you as an author from this second onwards
so it doesn't need to be like I
I can't say I've got an amazing opportunity
cause I don't have another job yet or I'm not there yet
absolutely it's already here
and so say yeah
own that own that you have amazing opportunities ahead
um yeah
come back to self worth and um
everything you talk about so much
okay one last question
um I'm not a writer
I don't have a blog or a platform
and that's a big one now
because people think that if you don't have a platform
you can't be a writer
how do I tell my story if I don't have those things
I mean if you literally don't like writing
ha ha ha ha ha you know
there's two different sides of it
it's like I like to write
but I don't have a platform or I actually don't enjoy writing yeah
which in which case it's like
I mean the wonders of verbal storytelling
which is what it used to be
I mean very much
we used to be sitting around in a circle
sharing our stories with the women in our lives
which is so sad that we don't do that enough anymore
in which case create that
um one of the biggest articles I've written recently
is about the Friday night parties that we have
every Friday night
we open our house to everyone on our street from 4:00 onwards
and anyone is welcome to come and go
and we all just sit together and talk and eat and the kids go wild
but we wanted to create a community where people sit together and
say they had a great day say they had a shit day
like whatever was going on
so if you don't want to write or you
you know you don't feel like you have that in you
like create conversation
bring people together um
it doesn't matter if you like have a big house or not
sit in a park and bring people together and share
be the ripple effect of conversation
or if you do love to write
substack is an amazing place
so it's a like blogging platform for want of a better word
I don't really love the word blogging
but it's a place you can write and you can put your words out there
um and just
it doesn't matter if you have like 10 people read it
or 10 million people read it
there is such power in just sharing your words
so that's a really great place to start or journaling
substack is booming for middle aged women
is that right substack is booming for middle aged women
the fastest
the fastest growing category on Substack is over 50s women
and I am just rejoicing in it
so many most of the people I follow on Substack are like women
writing about midlife but not even focusing on that
just telling their stories
unpacking current affairs
just having a voice
and it is absolutely a booming revolution and I'm here for it
so yeah check out substack
there's so much beautiful writing on there by women
I'm trying to get my mum to start blogging on there
hahaha and it's currently
as we sit here in 2025 it's a very welcoming and unhostile place
of all the kind of platforms and social media
I find it really supportive and welcoming
that may not be like that forever
but right now it's a really beautiful place to write and share
and it's so wonderful to see women find their voice and their audience
on substack or
or just in in the public sphere because
you know we grow up believing that we became invisible
once we stopped being hot
and here
we have all these women who are triumphing in their second act
and that is um yeah
inspiration for all of us
and you don't need to put pictures like
you know Instagram's fine
but No. 1 you're reduced to a caption
and No. 2 you need this beautiful image to go with everything
which is not me as a writer
that's not what I'm doing with my time
stuff that you can literally just write and put it out there
so there's something really liberating in that now Amy
thank you so much um
for spending this time with us
and sharing all your wisdom and your experience
and thank you to all of you
it absolutely warms my heart to see this community of smart
supportive women come together
and to collectively say goodbye to our good girls
thank you for joining the Goodbye Good Girl Club today
if this episode resonated with you
I'd be so grateful if you could leave a review
wherever you listen to podcasts
your words help other women find this community
women who just like you
deserve so much more than they've been settling for
and please share this podcast with the women in your life
who need to hear these conversations
send it to your sister your mum
your best friend your colleague
anyone who's been putting everyone else first for far too long
if you want a roadmap to saying goodbye to your own good girl
you can grab a copy of my book
Goodbye Good Girl hello me at Kasey Edwards dot com
use the code podcast for $10 off this book or my parenting books
raising girls who like themselves
and bringing up boys who like themselves
until next time you don't need to earn your worth
you just have to remember it
this is the goodbye good girl club
I'm Kasey Edwards thank you for being here

Bonus Ep: Finding Your Voice and Sharing It Powerfully and Safely with Amy Molloy

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